Visitation Dreams From Departed Loved Ones

It was a cold winter day, and the near-empty Bushy Park, once a 19th-century demesne with its still serpentine lake and ancient woods, evoked a timeless, albeit lonely atmosphere that mirrored my melancholic mood.

I had been to the funeral of a young man named Fergal, who died in an accident. He was only in his late twenties and was the son of my friend, Joe. After leaving the graveyard, I went for a walk in the park. My wife, Cushla, had died only three months earlier, and Fergal’s death at such a young age reminded me of the fragility of life.

When are you going to come to me, Cush? I called out silently to her as I walked under a row of leafless trees. I desperately needed to sense her presence or at least hear something from her. Despite bearing a long-term debilitating illness, she was always positive and full of hope. I knew if anybody could help me with my sadness, it was her.

The following day, I opened my emails and saw a message from our friend Melinda, who lives in Tasmania. It read: ‘Pat, I hope you don’t mind me telling you this, but Cushla came to me in a dream last night. I can’t remember all the details, but she said: “Tell Pat I love him, and we will be together soon.’”

The fact that Melinda lived almost 11,0000 miles from Dublin didn’t matter⸻ Cushla was reminding me once again of her saying: ‘There’s no time or space in the spirit world.’

Maybe she chose to communicate with me through Melinda because she knew I was still too sad and stressed to pick up any supernatural messages, which usually come to me in gentle whispers or subtle sensations. It’s also the reason, I believe, why she visited two other friends and my brother, Francis, in their dreams. She appeared to all three using similar symbolism, which she knew I'd appreciate and which I will explain below:

The first friend Cushla visited was Annette. Although Cushla only met her occasionally, she told me she felt an indelible ‘other worldly’ bond with Annette which I believe is the reason she visited her in her dream:

Calling me on the ‘phone one evening, Annette was animated. ‘Last night, I had a dream about Cushla. It wasn’t really like a dream. It was extraordinarily real as if I was awake. I was working behind a shop counter (Annette’s father used to own a shop), and Cushla was laughing and dancing around on the other side, showing off her new red high heels.

At no time did Cushla ever wear high heels, and red was not a colour she wore for any type of clothing, never mind shoes. But she was wearing them again when she appeared in a dream of another friend of mine:

'Cushla was prancing around laughing at the idea that she was wearing red high shoes', my friend Nuala said. Cushla met Nuala only a couple of times in the hairdressers, where we both got our hair cut and where Nuala sometimes worked on reception. Nonetheless, for some reason, she chose to visit her in a dream and, uncharacteristically, wasn’t shy as she skipped around showing off her new-found footwear.

Realer Than Real

 I had just called my brother, Francis, to chat about a project we were working on when he stopped me in my tracts. I sensed he needed to get something off his chest, so I went into listening mode. He was almost breathless and began by saying:

 ‘I’m puzzled. Last night I dreamt about Cushla. She was dancing around wearing a red coat. It was so real I said to myself, “Cushla is not dead—how come others don’t realise this? They’re making a big mistake. I saw her, and she was very much alive. I’m going to have to put them all straight.’” Then he added: ‘I’m exhausted. The dream was so heartfelt that I’m drained from all the emotion.’

It was unusual for Francis to share such an experience with me. He is a psychologist by profession, and although certainly not closed-minded, he usually takes the scientific and rational approach to any discussion regarding strange or seemingly inexplicable phenomena. This time though, Francis was perplexed. He had now personally experienced something out of the ordinary that left him dumbfounded.

Listening to Francis’s dream account, I immediately grasped why Cushla had again chosen to wear red in the dream realm, albeit it was a coat rather than shoes this time. It was for the same reason she had done years ago when she bought a new red car from the local Ford dealership. It was an unusual choice for her, but she explained that the colour symbolised a fight back against her long-term debilitating illness. For her, red represented fun, vitality, and a strong life force.

 In all three dreams, dancing around and wearing red  Cushla was showing me she had a new life. She knew I was grieving and was especially sad when I ruminated about how she had suffered not only from her debilitating illness but then had died relatively young (age 51)  after developing cancer. But now,  she showed me she was in another dimension where she was no longer ill. She wanted to show me she was happy and free from earthly worries by dancing around and laughing. She also knew I would appreciate the madcap fun, especially her wearing red high heels, which she would regard as a hoot. Although shy, she had always had a zany sense of humour —a side of her that mostly only her family and I got to see.

After Death Communication — Wishful Thinking Or A Reality?

Could you visit me in dreams? That would cheer me. Sweet to see friends in the night, however short the time.'

―  Anne Carson, poet, essayist, and professor of Classics.

Those who respond with reductionism to reports of after-death communication or any supernatural phenomena would brush off Cushla’s dream visitations and say there are rational explanations for such dreams (e.g., ‘It’s wishful thinking, self-delusion, or hallucinations’).

However, after-death communications are more difficult to dismiss if they are evidential ( i.e., relating to, serving as, or based on evidence). In one study of 1,667 after-death communications by the researcher Ken Vincent, around a fifth were found to be evidential, and there are three different types of evidence:

1) Where experiences happened to more than one person, e.g., in the case of my brother Francis and my two friends.

2) The second type of evidence the researcher Ken Vincent cites for after-death communication is an experience in which a person sensed or saw (often in a dream) the death of a person and found out shortly afterwards that they had died. I actually had two separate dreams where two people appeared in my dreams just before they died. I sensed they would die soon in the dreams, even though I didn’t know they were ill beforehand. I will elaborate more in my next article: Dream Premonitions

 3)   When deceased people pass on messages later found to be relevant or information later confirmed. One of the more poignant and evidential communications from beyond the grave that I know of was received by a woman I know called Eva, who was born and reared in Latvia, the centre of the three Baltic states. Her mother, Anita, visited Eva in a dream three days after she died to give her a message:

  A Story From Latvia

Anita lived alone in an isolated house in the remote countryside of Latgale, the eastmost region of Latvia and close to the  Russian border. She had a hard life and had made bad choices, especially concerning her love life. Heartbroken, she drank heavily, sometimes with the local down-and-outs.

Although only in her early 40’s, her one-time film star beauty quickly faded. Her daughter, Eva, and son, Peter, had been sent to boarding school in the nearby village. On weekends and holidays, they stayed with their grandmother.

One day, in the middle of a particularly bad winter with heavy snowfalls and after not seeing or hearing from  Anita in nearly two weeks, her neighbours, accompanied by a policeman, called at her house to check on her. Not finding anyone home, she was reported as a missing person. It was the middle of winter, and the countryside, as usual for the area, was covered in deep snow. Everyone feared the worst.

A few nights later, Anita visited Eva in a dream. She told her she was dead and that her body could be found under the snow at the back of her house. As soon as it was daybreak, Eva ran from the boarding school to the exact spot her mother had told her where she would be found. She began digging at the snow with her bare hands. Soon she saw her mother’s purple check coat and ran back to the village for help. A policeman and locals returned with her and retrieved Anita’s body.

 Anita, I believe, was trying to bring some closure to her children. She also demonstrated that though she was in another dimension, she was nevertheless close to them. Jesus Christ reassured the French mystic, Gabrielle Bossis, of the same truism after her friend died. He told her:

' Stay very close to your departed ones. They are close to all of you. Increase your trust. Venture out beyond the little earthly dimensions and take up your residence in the womb of God.’

Author’s Note:

 Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.