Peace Of Mind, No Matter What

  ‘In all my years of surgery, I have never had a patient on their way to theatre as calm as your wife,’ Cushla’s surgeon, Steve,  said to me only a few minutes after her procedure. The next day, he sat on her bed and asked her where she got her equanimity from. I suspect he already had a good idea: he was a spiritual man and recognised that Cushla was drawing strength from a supernatural peace that God had blessed her with. Like me, he wanted more of what Cushla had. She told him about her prayer life, meditation, spiritual reading, and receiving the sacraments.

Other patients and staff in the hospital where she was being treated for cancer also remarked on her courage and composure. But it was a particularly spiritually sensitive nurse who sensed the serenity which seemed to surround Cushla was not of this world: 

A few weeks before she died, the nurse remarked:  ‘Cushla, every time I come into your room, I sense a beautiful, unearthly peace’. I knew what she meant. I often sensed this strange sense of peace in my wife’s company. Sometimes, I even felt a trace of it in a room after she left it, and when I needed strength, I would sometimes roll over to her side of the bed to take in this beautiful energy she had left behind. It’s hard to describe it because it was not from this world but from God. There was a lightness to it, and at the same time, it was reassuring and loving and gave me strength and hope to face the day. I felt that any troubles I might encounter didn’t matter once I had this blessing from heaven.

Because she was a great soul and was spiritually devout, Cushla, I believe, was a channel for God’s peace. It was the peace that Jesus spoke of when he said:

‘Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid’ ( John 14:27).

It was the same peace Cushla had been granted when, six months after her surgery, she was diagnosed with terminal cancer and was able to face her death with complete serenity and fearlessness. 

 My Search For Peace  

 I’ve only experienced the peace I mentioned above on rare occasions. When I did sense it, it wasn’t anything I earned but a grace from God. But it’s something I’ll never forget. I remember thinking that I could cope with anything that happened to me, including (for some odd reason)  losing a limb if I could hold onto this supernatural peace. I went in search of it.

‘To find your way, look to those who have found meaning, not to those who are lost,’ the writer Leo Tolstoy said. His advice could also apply to looking to those who have found peace. Speaking for myself, I didn’t have to look far:  I was blessed to be married to Cushla. I knew the peace she possessed was worth more than all the world’s treasures.

 Cushla had always been calm, but her spiritual discipline had brought her to a different level of serenity. At this juncture, though, it’s important to say that seeking inner peace wasn’t the goal of her spiritual life. Her purpose was to love God and others, so the peace she was granted naturally followed from this. It seems she had all this in common with one of her favourite saints, Mother Teresa of Calcutta:

What Mother Teresa Said About Finding Inner Peace

 In his article, Mother Teresa’s advice to find inner peace the author, Father Rennier, writes:

‘Mother Teresa talked about peace quite a bit, and she’s helpful in sorting out the connection between loving God and finding peace. She says, “Works of love are works of peace.” In other words, peace isn’t the result of going through a program or a self-help scheme to make it happen. Peace results from spreading God’s love to the people around us.  She also says, “Whenever you share love with others, you’ll notice the peace that comes to you and to them.” To her, the way to follow Christ is to focus on giving love away, and in that action, surprisingly, peace drifts down to us.’

True Versus False Peace

 Taking on Mother Teresa’s advice, peace comes at a cost to us, but we will find that the less we think of ourselves, the more peaceful we are. Contrary to this approach, our Western culture encourages us to live for ourselves; allied to this approach is the belief that suffering is something to escape from. Ironically, this attitude brings on a more insidious type of suffering: an emptiness, lack of meaning, restlessness, and constant feelings that something is missing.

 Avoiding the truth and ignoring an inner voice, we try to find a false rest in the moment of a high. We party not to celebrate anything good but to numb an unconscious core belief that true happiness is unreachable. Living lives of busy despair, we are nevertheless desperate for meaning and serenity. It’s then we might suspend our critical faculties to follow so-called gurus who advise us on how to find peace when all they possess is an act of self-assurance and a false sense of calm. As Pope Francis said in his May 16, 2017, homily at his Casa Santa Marta residence in the Vatican:

‘The world offers an artificial peace that is reduced to mere tranquillity. This kind of peace is only concerned about one’s affairs and security– but it is ultimately ineffective because tribulations are there, whether pain, illness or death.’

‘Only God can give true peace amid tribulations,’ Pope Francis emphasised and added something that  probably sounds incredibly foolish to modern sophisticates: ‘A peace without a cross is not the peace of Jesus.’ He went on to elaborate on this belief: ‘God’s peace is real peace, that enters the reality of life, that does not deny life; that is life. There is suffering, there are the sick people, there are many bad things, there are wars ... but that peace within, which is a gift, is not lost, but goes ahead bearing the Cross and suffering,’ He went on to say: ‘Peace without the Cross is not the peace of Jesus: it is a peace that can be bought. But it does not last; it comes to an end.’

Speaking for myself, I know what Pope Francis said above is true: I had a Pollyanna attitude for much of my life. I tried to avoid pain. Comfort and stimulation were my drugs. To escape from my business stresses, I often liked to paint the town red with my work colleagues. I attempted to buy the tranquillity that Pope Francis talked about by going on holidays to luxury resorts. But it never brought me true peace.

Eventually, I began to see through the quest for artificial serenity, especially when Cushla said to me in a five-star resort in Barbados: ‘You can be just as happy in the back garden’. The world’s attractions meant little to her. She knew what real peace was as she embraced her crosses, including bearing a mysterious and debilitating illness for 17 years. Instead of looking for comfort, she gave her life to others, especially those not often valued according to the standards of our Western culture.

On top of all this, Cushla's spiritual discipline was awe-inspiring to witness. I’m sure it was because of how she led her life that she was happy and peaceful. It was a mystical type of peace— a gift from God, the peace the pope spoke of in the same homily:

 ‘The peace that Jesus gives is a gift: it is a gift of the Holy Spirit; and this peace lasts through tribulations and beyond.’